“Hahahahahahahahahaha!”
“Hahahahaha!”
“Hahaha, hahahahahahahahahaha!”
“That’s enough!” Gu Zhan interrupted the man by the bar, unable to bear it any longer.
The man in the black suit paused, then immediately lost control again and burst into loud laughter. “Hahahahahahaha!”
Gu Zhan’s finger joints cracked loudly.
Seeing that Gu Zhan was on the verge of exploding, Xie Lou pounded the table, laughing so hard he rocked back and forth. With tears in the corners of his eyes, he rubbed his belly and tried his best to stop laughing. “Ahem, I’ll stop laughing. Let’s talk business. Did you catch her that day?”
The live broadcast that day had never stopped. The entire process of Gu Zhan bringing the production crew along to give chase had been filmed. Unfortunately, the production team was stingy; the size and speed of their yacht were far inferior to Shi Yi’s. In just two short minutes, her yacht was completely out of sight.
The final scene Gu Zhan, our Male God, left for the live broadcast was him yelling in exasperation for them to dispatch a helicopter for him— Yep, the most famous meme on the internet right now was provided by Gu Zhan. The first image was a calm #DoNotDisturbHer#, and the next was him screaming in exasperation #DispatchAHelicopterForMe#. The contrasting effect scored full marks, and it was ridiculously viral. Hahahahahaha.
Gu Zhan, “No.” Dispatching the helicopter over was too slow. He added a sentence, “But she returned to the country.”
Yo! Xie Lou wiped his tears. “Then did you find her?” Back then, he couldn’t find her because Shi Yi was abroad. Now that she had returned, finding her would just take a matter of minutes.
Gu Zhan, “I didn’t look for her.”
Xie Lou, “Hm?” He clapped his hands loudly. “Has our Young Master Gu finally mended his ways?” His actions were on point, but his expression told a different story. Xie Lou’s expression seemed to say: Bro, what are you pretending for in front of me?
Gu Zhan didn’t look at him. With his long legs crossed, he poured himself a glass of red wine and pursed his lips. “Why didn’t she come look for me?”
??? You’ve gotta be kidding me, bro! You weren’t like this two years ago when you were searching for her like crazy. Now that she’s finally back, you’re throwing a tantrum again.
Xie Lou expressed his shock. Do people in love really lack a few brain cells?
Gu Zhan had been the leader of their generation in the military compound, composed and calm, the standard “flower on a high peak”1.
In the end, after meeting Shi Yi, his persona completely collapsed. With just a little bit of coaxing and whining from his girlfriend, he couldn’t control himself, backing down step by step until he was even skipping class to boil brown sugar water for her.
Back then, when he should have stuck to his principles, he didn’t. Now, when he shouldn’t be stubborn, he just had to hold onto his pride—
Xie Lou clinked glasses with him to express support for his actions. “Aren’t you afraid she’ll go abroad again?”
“She wouldn’t dare!” Xie Lou: “What wouldn’t she dare to do? Didn’t she already do it back then?”
“…” Seeing that his words had stunned Gu Zhan, whose face had turned dark and gloomy, Xie Lou swallowed the remaining “you spoiled her into being like this” back into his stomach for the sake of their brotherhood. — “I was just speaking nonsense, don’t overthink it. Come, come, come, let’s keep drinking.” Xie Lou decided to leave him some face.
Don’t let Gu Zhan’s steady posture fool you; he looked as calm and collected as ever, but Xie Lou would bet Gu Zhan’s very head that he was definitely panicking on the inside. If Xie Lou wasn’t here, he would definitely be making calls right now.
Gu Zhan set down his wine glass. “You can leave. I’m not drinking anymore.”
Xie Lou was stunned: ??? It was Gu Zhan who asked him out for a drink. He drove for over an hour and had barely caught his breath after sitting down… and now he was telling him to leave? Gu Zhan, are you even human?
As if seeing through what he was thinking, Gu Zhan remained unmoved. He opened the door and signaled for him to hurry up and get the hell out.
Xie Lou, “…” Damn it, abandoning friends for a woman!
— It was quite a coincidence. Just as Xie Lou stepped out, someone called him to ask if Shi Yi had returned.
Xie Lou was currently driving and adjusted his Bluetooth earpiece. “Yeah, how did you know?”
“I saw it on Weibo. It’s causing a massive uproar on Weibo… What is Brother Gu planning to do? Does he need my help to find her?” Among the group they grew up with, Xie Lou and Gu Zhan had the tightest relationship, but the rest of them were also on pretty good terms.
“I don’t know.” Xie Lou turned the steering wheel to the left. “I just came back from his place. If he needs anything, Gu Zhan will definitely call you.”
“Just came back from his place? Went drinking?”
Speaking of this, Xie Lou had a lot to say. He complained thoroughly about Gu Zhan valuing women over his friends. He had just sat down and hadn’t even taken a sip of alcohol before being chased out. If it weren’t for all their years of friendship, he would have severed ties with him right then and there.
Laughter came from the earpiece, clearly showing disbelief.
“…”
After getting home and hanging up, remembering what Wang Er said about Weibo on the phone, Xie Lou changed his shoes and pulled out his phone. Weibo was indeed in an uproar, with fans collectively losing their minds.
[What ‘the past is already in the past’, I was a fool to believe Gu Zhan! He even called for a helicopter!] [Heh, men.] [He’s panicked he’s panicked he’s panicked, I’m heartbroken I’m heartbroken I’m heartbroken] [If he isn’t still harboring old feelings, I’ll live stream myself eating shit] [So which two characters make up the ‘Shiyi’ Gu Zhan yelled at the time? Where are the insiders? Come out and spill the tea!]
Xie Lou lay on the sofa, crossing his legs, and scrolled down. He found that some people had indeed come out to spill the tea. But there were water armies muddying the waters. Shi Yi (石艺), Shi Yi (石怡), Shi Yi (时宜), and Shi Yi (时艺) were all spammed onto the front page, confusing the audience so much they couldn’t tell which was real and which was fake.
…Could these water armies have been hired by Shi Yi herself? Xie Lou pondered for a moment. Forget it, he might as well give Gu Zhan a hand. If things remained lukewarm, how would Shi Yi be forced to show herself? Of course, he had to have someone monitor the trend.
Xie Lou switched to his main account, not minding blowing things out of proportion as he started replying to comments—thanks to Gu Zhan, as his wealthy second-generation childhood friend and the boss of Feilou Entertainment Company, his main account had nearly twenty million followers.
Xie Lou gave a like to the comment exposing the name as Shi Yi (时意), and forwarded it with a reply: Your Male God’s little sweetheart has the surname Shi and the name Yi, alias Little Fairy. You’re welcome.
[There are too many people muddying the waters during this chaos. Even if they were dating, with Gu Zhan’s personality, it’s impossible for him to boil brown sugar water for his girlfriend. This plot is too exaggerated!] Xie Lou replied: No, it’s not that you’re thinking too exaggeratedly, it’s that you guys don’t dare to think it. Be a bit bolder, my friends.
[It’s impossible for our Male God to skip class to buy warm baby patches, skipping class to buy books is a bit more believable] Xie Lou V: Oh right, your Male God indeed didn’t skip class to buy warm baby patches back then, because he asked for a leave of absence to go buy them. Hahaha fuck, he openly and honorably asked the homeroom teacher for a leave of absence.
As someone with twenty million followers, the moment Xie Lou started replying, the audience noticed. ——That’s right, Xie Lou is Gu Zhan’s childhood friend. If Gu Zhan dated back then, Xie Lou would definitely know!
[Ahhhhh is what you’re saying true? I don’t believe it wu wu wu] [My heart is broken. It was actually that sweet! He was actually that sweet back then!] [What was his homeroom teacher’s expression at the time?? Help, my head is full of thoughts about the homeroom teacher’s expression. My mom said I might be crazy for crying and laughing at the same time] [Then why did they break up?!!]
Xie Lou comfortably shifted his posture and continued replying.
Xie Lou V: Why was he acting so abnormally when he saw his ex-girlfriend’s back? If your Male God says he was just surprised, then he was surprised.
Xie Lou V: Why did they break up? I can’t say that, your Male God will kill me.
Xie Lou V: That’s right, first love, just this one.
Xie Lou V: Getting back together isn’t a sure thing; the two haven’t even met face-to-face yet.
Xie Lou V: Selling a persona? Does Gu Zhan look like someone who lacks money?
Xie Lou V: Why was he able to get a girlfriend? Tsk, would he act the same in front of others as he does in front of his little sweetheart? “…”
Translator’s note:
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