Shi Yi didn’t know yet that she had gained several more camera angles on her. The director, feeling relieved after finishing the arrangements, began to explain the detailed rules of this variety show.
“We will be arriving at Love Island shortly. I’ll briefly go over the requirements.”
“The guests will live on the island for a month and are not allowed to leave during this period. Guests are completely forbidden from bringing any of their own supplies onto the island. The production team will provide clothing, food, housing, transportation, and other necessities.”
Guests: ???
Wen Xin: “Wait, we aren’t even allowed to bring clothes? Are you expecting us to wear one outfit for a whole month?”
They were female stars!
Did he understand what female stars were?
Heads could roll, blood could flow, but their image could never be compromised.
Of course, the director wouldn’t dare be that inhumane. This was a dating variety show; what kind of romance could they foster if they didn’t change clothes for a month? He explained, “There is a dedicated clothing and accessory room on the island stocked with all sorts of fashion brands. The guests can purchase items there.”
Wen Xin sharply noticed the word ‘purchase’: “Does it cost money?”
The director smiled, leaving everything unsaid.
Wen Xin: “…” She knew it.
“How much of a dating fund does each guest get?”
The director said cryptically, “We advocate for everyone to be self-reliant and build their wealth from scratch.”
“In other words, we don’t have a single cent?”
Wen Xin: “…I underestimated how much of a dog you guys are.”
The guests universally started condemning the director. Shi Yi’s attention, however, was focused on the words ‘Love Island’. Grinding her teeth, she looked at Gu Zhan. Love Island… didn’t they say it was called Desert Island Survival Diary?
Although the moment she saw Fang Fang, she knew this show absolutely couldn’t be Desert Island Survival Diary, she never expected it to be Love Island.
The phenomenal hit variety show from the original novel!
What did that mean? It meant that 80% of netizens knew about it. If you went out to eat and chat with friends, and said you hadn’t watched Love Island, you would be falling behind the times.
By going on this variety show, wouldn’t she genuinely get dug up and exposed by netizens?
Ahhhhh Gu Zhan, you bastard!
Seeing Shi Yi continuously smiling without speaking, Wen Xin took the initiative to cue her. “Little Yi, can you cook? I suspect we’ll have to cook our own meals when the time comes.”
Shi Yi resisted the urge to take off her shoe and throw it at someone, conscious of not losing face. “I can make soup.”
Gu Zhan inexplicably let out a soft laugh.
Mhm, she indeed could. She had even specifically learned it for him back then.
…That is, if her standing to the side reading the recipe while he handled all the rest actually counted.
He laughed soundlessly, so many guests didn’t notice. Only Director Lu, sitting next to him, suddenly realized something and asked Gu Zhan, “Can you?”
Gu Zhan: “I can.”
Director Lu: I knew it.
The director was a true warrior. Facing the predatory glares of the eight guests, he continued fearlessly, “Teacher Wen is right, there’s no such thing as a free lunch in this world.”
“Guests can choose to cook for themselves, or they can choose to go to the island’s restaurants. There are many delicious restaurants on the island that make great date spots.”
I believe you like I’d believe a ghost.1
Wen Xin rubbed her forehead. “Just tell us straight up, how are we supposed to make money?”
The director replied calmly, “There are many ways.”
“First, Love Island has an exchange market. Guests can sell various supplies to earn remuneration, and guests with different identities can sell different items.”
“Second, every night at 8 PM, fans will vote for the sweetest CP. The CP that wins the ‘Sweetest’ title can get 50 yuan for their dating fund, split evenly between the man and the woman.”
“The runner-up sweetest CP will get 20 yuan.”
“Third, the production team will select ten fan-submitted tasks every day, which will be issued by Teacher Chen and Director Lu. The male and female guests can receive remuneration upon completing them.”
“Fourth, hidden around Love Island are treasure chests prepared by the production team for the guests. There might be gold coins inside these treasure chests.”
“Fifth, guests can choose to attempt various games. There are many game maps distributed across Love Island, and the winners will receive dating funds provided by the production team.”
“…”
The director introduced many ways to earn remuneration. In summary, Love Island was like a beginner’s village in a video game, with tasks scattered everywhere, while the guests were the players who could earn gold coins by accepting quests.
The director remembered something else to introduce, “After seven days, Love Island will unlock a special building: the Yue Lao Temple. When a male guest and a female guest decide to form a fixed CP, they can go to the Yue Lao Temple to pray to Yue Lao. From then on, the two sides form a fixed CP, and any CPs involving either the man or the woman with other people will withdraw from the Sweetest CP competition.”
He gave an example, “Take Teacher Gu, for instance. Logically speaking, Teacher Gu has three CP pairings: Teacher Gu x Teacher Wen, Teacher Gu x Ming Qiuqiu, and Teacher Gu x Little Yi.”
The director gave Little Yi a meaningful look. “If Teacher Gu and Little Yi pray to Yue Lao, then the Gu-Wen CP and the Gu-Ming CP will cease to exist.”
Shi Yi: “…”
Could you please use a different example??
Pretending she didn’t feel the gazes of everyone else, Shi Yi wiggled her toes.
Teacher Chen Hongmei soundlessly laughed.
It was a pity the other guests were entirely focused on the rules and didn’t notice Teacher Chen’s smile.
Young Master Fang was the first to ask, “Different identities? Do we have other identities?”
He had caught the main point.
The others also wanted to ask this question.
The director glanced at the live broadcast. He originally wanted to save it as a surprise, but whatever. “Yes.”
“The guests will draw lots to get their own identities. The specific identities include singer, poet, farmer, cleaner, model, and woodcutter.”
Excluding the two elders, Teacher Chen and Director Lu, the six guests would draw the six identities. The singer could go perform on stage at the exchange market, and the poet could write poems to sell for money.
The farmer would sell vegetables, the cleaner would clean, the woodcutter would sell firewood, and the model would take photos.
“Every three days, there is a chance to change professions. Guests dissatisfied with their identities can redraw after three days. Changing professions requires spending one day’s time.”
Fang Yanhang: Tsk, it really is like playing a video game.
“Pretty interesting.”
“It is interesting.” Wen Xin paused. “I’m just afraid I’ll draw woodcutter.”
To be honest, she had lived a pampered life all these years; she wasn’t even sure if she could lift an axe.
The netizens also found it interesting. Unlike previous dating variety shows, Love Island was like a massive live-action holographic game. However:
[Hehehe, I want to see my Goddess draw woodcutter.]
[People should try out more roles.]
[Agreed, it’s only fun if a female guest draws woodcutter. Then we’ll see if the male guests act like true gentlemen or not.]
[…Then isn’t my Male God beyond saving? He’s a man who doesn’t even have the self-awareness to carry a bag for a girl.]
[Ah well, it’s fine. Your Male God is good-looking. Just for that face alone, some female guest might still choose him.]
[How about he just earns more gold coins? A wealthy man can always win a female guest’s favor.]
Fans: [But does my Male God have the self-awareness to treat a female guest to a meal??? I suspect he’d ask to split the bill AA-style.]
[Fuck, I can totally picture it.]
[It reminds me of his last interview where he said gender equality meant no obligation to admit fault…]
[Just carry him away, he’s beyond saving.]
[Next, next.]
Fans: …Don’t be like this, give my Gege a chance ah.
Ming Qiuqiu and Wen Xin’s fans were reminded, working together to spam the screen for their goddesses to see: Goddess, you must keep your eyes wide open, you can choose anyone but Gu Zhan ah!
I admit he’s very handsome, but handsomeness can’t be eaten as a meal! A man unwilling to spend money on you is absolutely a no-go!
The fans were breaking their hearts worrying over Gu Zhan.
The best possible outcome would be for the female guests to avoid drawing professions that required help. If they didn’t need help, the gap between Gu Zhan and the other male guests could be narrowed a bit.
“…”
Things rarely go as one wishes.
Under the fans’ sincere prayers, the six guests drew their identities.
Gu Zhan, poet.
Fang Yanhang, cleaner.
Xie Yixing, farmer.
Ming Qiuqiu, model.
Wen Xin, woodcutter.
The moment she saw the slip of paper, Wen Xin was heartbroken. She leaned back, looking completely devoid of the will to live. “Director, did you guys do this on purpose? I just said I didn’t want woodcutter, and then I drew it.”
The director wore an expression of “your luck is your own problem.”
Unable to do anything to the director, Wen Xin leaned over toward Shi Yi. “Little Yi, what did you draw?”
Shi Yi showed her slip of paper. “Singer.”
“Your luck is that good?”
Shi Yi was entirely sincere. “How about we trade?”
Wen Xin: “No, no, what you draw is what you get. You just focus on earning gold coins; I can just change professions in three days.”
Shi Yi: “…” She really did want to trade.
Gu Zhan glanced at Shi Yi, forcibly holding back a smile, and asked the director, “If someone is bad at their identity—for example, a singer who sings out of tune—can they still earn money?”
Director: “Out of tune to what extent?”
Gu Zhan pondered, “To the point where not a single word is on pitch.”
Shi Yi: ????
She almost couldn’t maintain her expression, grinding her teeth. What do you mean ‘not a single word is on pitch’!!
I clearly had a few words on pitch!!
The director replied solemnly: “Then no, a singer must have basic professional competency.”
Translator’s note:
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